Report of the ARP

The set up was nothing special. A circle of desks. Two older missionaries. A facilitator. And other group members.

I can't type fast enough all the things I am feeling. I want them out all right now but I can't type fast enough.

If the Spirit wasn't there, I would have thought it was silly. A small bunch of people who have various addictions getting together to talk about how their week went? How does that even help anyone?

Oh, but Reader. I am so overcome with emotions that I can't stop the tears. I can't express how much this one meeting helped me to see God's love. God's love is my favorite.

It started out with the missionaries welcoming us, then a prayer. Is anyone here for the first time? One of the missionaries asked. I was the only one to raise my hand. I was given an Addiction Recovery Program booklet. Today we went over step two, which is Hope: "Come to believe that the power of God can restore you to complete spiritual health."

We took turns reading each paragraph in the step, and the speaker talked about God's tender mercies. In this section is this quote by Elder David A Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:
"We should not underestimate or overlook the power of the Lord's tender mercies. The simpleness, the sweetness, and the constancy of the tender mercies of the Lord will do much to fortify and protect us in the troubled times in which we do now and will yet live. When words cannot provide the solace we need or express the joy we feel, when it is simply futile to attempt to explain that which is unexplainable, When logic and reason cannot yield adequate understanding about the injustices and inequities of life, when mortal experience and evaluation are insufficient to produce a desired outcome, and when it seems that perhaps we are so totally alone, truly we are blessed by the tender mercies of the Lord and made mighty even unto the power of deliverance. . . . I testify that the tender mercies of the Lord are available to all of us and that the Redeemer of Israel is eager to bestow such gifts upon us" (Conference Report, Apr 2005).

Then the time was given to the group to share. And that's when I saw why I was there.

See, last Sunday, I heard about this program. Well, I've heard about it before but never felt that I would belong. But, last Sunday, one of the lessons at church was all about this program. And I knew I had to come. Tonight, I had two invitations to good things that I almost did instead of this meeting. But I was so strongly compelled to attend the meeting that I couldn't think to avoid it without immediately feeling guilty.

The people who shared taught me this:


1. I Am Not Alone
I have almost always been able to accept that God is with me, that He loves me, that He will not forsake me. And in that regard, I have almost always accepted that I am not alone. But in all other ways, I felt so very alone. I don't have a husband to confide in. I certainly don't feel comfortable sharing these things with my family. I have shared most of this stuff with my best friend, but there are just some things she cannot understand as someone with opposing spiritual views, which views cause her to be less than supportive sometimes. And I had no one to support me besides God. God should be all we need, but let's face it, it sure helps having a flesh and bones person before you who supports you and loves you and understands you. Before tonight, I felt like I was the only person at church who was doing bad things. I knew that wasn't true, but I felt like it was. Well. I am not alone. My sins are not unique. Not even as a woman. Let me tell you what this means: I'm normal. I'm not a freak. Oh, the relief! I didn't realize it was even important to me to be normal until tonight's meeting. Not only am I not the only one with a really bad habit, I'm also not the only one who keeps messing up. I'm not special!! You know what I mean. :)

2. God Loves Me
You know I know this. But the reminders are never old. How sweet it is to feel His love. God loves all of us. He gave us these meetings, through His servants, because He loves us. It's yet another of His tools that can bring us to happiness and peace. Just another piece of His work and His glory.


3. Real people really have been able to give up their addictions for years.
"My last drink was 17 years ago" isn't just for folks on TV. Real live people have actually been clean that long. It's possible! It's real! This program and others like it have really worked for some people.

I'm going to go every Friday.