Not a Priority

I am surrounded by awesome, supportive, loving, brilliant people. It's really amazing. I'm humbled and inspired, often, by the people around me and their wisdom.

So one of these such people said something to a group the other week that made a permanent imprint in my mind. She was talking about how she reads her scriptures, and how she used to say she didn't have time for scriptures, but then she changed "I don't have time" to "It's not a priority." And then she faces the truth of it all.

It was very meaningful to me. Because I often rush through my scriptures because I don't have the time. But, really, that's not it at all, is it? No, it's really that I'm not making it a priority. If it was a priority, I would make sure to make adequate time each day for study.

So, I've been trying to change every "I don't have time" to "It's not a priority." This has been embarrassing and comforting. Oh, man, I don't have time for a quality FHE. Oh, wait! No. It's not a priority. Quality FHE is not a priority, and I have to face that truth.

Well, I just don't have time to help my kids with homework.
WRONG. It's not a priority. Something else is a bigger priority.

Hmm, I don't have time to shower today.
WRONG. Just not a priority.

But. Guess what else? While it makes me more accountable, it also takes off the pressure. One day last week, I was busy. I had work, and grocery shopping, and babysitting for my sister, and other important things. Just before my sister arrived to drop off her child, I looked at my laundry that I hadn't yet done and sighed. I had wanted to get it all out of the living room and hallway before my sister got there. I was tempted to believe that because my laundry wasn't done, I was a bad person. I lamented with great, shameful, anxious regret, "I didn't have the time."

And then came the whisper I'd been telling myself, "no, it wasn't a priority."

I smiled. The laundry wasn't a priority that day. And do you know why? It's because work was a priority. Dinner was a priority. Exercise with my children was a priority. Family scriptures and prayer was a priority. Personal spiritual study was a priority. Babysitting was a priority. And with all those priorities, I literally couldn't have fit in laundry. Not without having sacrificed one of my other priorities that day. For the first time in my life, I felt grateful that I failed to do a chore. Everything else I'd done was more important.

And so I instantly forgave myself for neglecting the laundry. It wasn't a priority, and that was okay. And not just okay, but, for that day, it was good.

Now, when I'm willing to admit that finishing Step 10 hasn't been a priority, I'll re-prioritize and get back on track. :)