Well on this, my 30th day without giving into my addiction, I am tempted. But I rejoice, a little, in this temptation! Let me tell you why. I was reading the other day in 2nd Nephi, and came to this verse in Chapter 2:
"16. Wherefore, the Lord God gave unto man that he should act for himself. Wherefore, man could not act for himself save it should be that he was enticed by the one or the other." (italics added)
I was thinking on that verse and do you know what it taught me? I realized it means that when I am tempted, that means I have a choice. And if I have a choice, I have the ability to choose. And if it's up to me to choose, then I choose good. Every time I'm tempted, it means that I'm a free agent! It means that I am forced by no hand! I get to make the choice.
I know I'm not communicating my thoughts adequately. It probably seems like I'm not very smart. Duh. Of course I can choose. But you don't understand! I CAN CHOOSE! I CAN CHOOSE GOOD! I don't have to choose the path that leads away from happiness. Yes, the choice has always been mine to make. I just didn't realize how much of a choice there was. I just didn't realize that I could actually be in control. That I didn't have to give in. It was natural to give in. It was a matter of course. I was on a path, a path of destruction, and it was only natural that my next step would be continuing on that path. But I can choose to turn around. I can choose to stop bad behaviors. I can choose! I can choose, I can choose, I am free to choose my own will. I can choose God or I can choose Satan. I can choose life or death. I am free to choose whatever path I want most. I am free to choose whatever immediate action I want most. I am free!
I thank my Father for temptations, for enticements, for seductions targeted at me. It's only a reminder that I am free.
I wonder if Satan knew that I was grateful for his invitations, what would that do?
This is my life, Satan, and I don't want you in it. I don't want your way. I don't want your path. I don't like your ideas. I choose God. Because I can! Because I am free to choose! Oh, what a gift!
If I can choose to be clean for 30 days, then I can choose to be clean for 60 days. This is the best day ever!
Um dude. You are a GOOD writer and you communicate your thoughts perfectly!! Don't be so stinkin hard on yourself. Hah.
ReplyDelete