One At a Time

It's true what they say, you know. You can't eat an elephant in one bite.

General Conference was a whirlwind of awesome for me, as it usually is. In past years, Conference has been both uplifting but also depressing, and served as a reminder of how much I suck, how much I'm not doing, how much farther I have to go. Often, I would let it discourage me.

Not this time. Because I know that I can do all things through Christ, and that Christ actually doesn't expect me to do all things at once, not even with Him.

I was especially touched and inspired by Elder Jorg Klebingat's talk. The fact that I was inspired by his talk is a mark of progress all on its own! He touched very much on many things that I am just not doing. Take accountability for your spiritual well-being, he said. Take accountability for your physical well-being, he said. Stop being selectively obedient. Don't expect the world to cheer you on. Forgive everyone everything all the time- I am never exempt from this commandment! (Instantly, I want to say, "but, so-and-so is a genuine jerk," "but, I shouldn't be treated like he treats me," etc. But I know I am not exempt!). Acknowledge and face weaknesses but don't become immobilized by them (!!!). On and on he talked, and I was racing to write down everything I wanted to remember- which was basically his whole talk. His talk wasn't exceptionally spiritual, I guess, but it touched me very deeply, spiritually.

During his talk, in addition to taking notes, I was also making a family plan. I was writing down what our next FHE would entail, which were family goals for all the improvements I wanted to make based on this talk (and other subsequent talks).

Here's my FHE plan, taken from my notes:
FHE

• exercise plan
• meal plan
• save money plan
• help the poor and elderly plan
• spiritual/physical preparedness
• indexing

I was fully intending to go over plans for each of these with my kids for FHE. And we were goign to make all these changes right away. We were going to dive right into daily healthy eating, exercising, helping out the less-fortunate, the difference and connection between spiritual and physical preparedness.... I was planning to make all these calendars for our health plans and service plans, and we were going to do all the things every day, dangit. Also, a chore plan was in the mix, which would certainly magically turn my home into Martha Stewart's. It was all going to work. Because I can do all things through Christ! And He will help me with my plans! And I have to do all these things! And I will, for sure I will! I even wrote next to my FHE plan: "God will guide!!!" as a reminder to myself to not become scared or overwhelmed.

So after conference on Sunday, my family gathered at our parents' and had dinner and visiting. I decided to ask my dad and brothers for a blessing to help me keep all my PLANS! organized and to help me stay motivated. They were happy to comply. My dad gave me a wonderful blessing and I wish I'd have written down all that he said, but, I didn't.

However, one thing he said jolted a switch in my brain and the light it turned on seared my memory. "Take it one at a time."

WHAT?!? ONE AT A TIME?!?!

Whatever. Like I'm really supposed to obey the commandments one at a time? Hey, don't mind me while I steal from my neighbors- right now I'm working on "thou shalt not commit adultery." No. I can't do this one at a time. It's now or never; all or nothing. I have to eat well and exercise always and help all the poor all around me and do family history and save money- I have to do it all now, and I can because it's a commandment. 

But, "one at a time" resounded. It was a fadeless echo in the newly lighted room in my mind. One at a time, One at a time. I argued with it. I tried to dismiss it. But the more I thought about it (it was a fadeless echo, remember? I couldn't not think about it), the more I realized it was actually from Heavenly Father, and that I just can't handle all the changes all at once. I mean- duh. I know this. I just forgot. 

So, I sorta compromised. I decided that taking care of my body is fundamental. I can be of so much more use if I am healthy and energetic! So, I cut down my FHE plan to an exercise plan and a meal plan. And these plans are not elaborate by any means. They are easy. They are easy changes, but definitely progressive in nature, and they will do us good if/when we stick to them. We're doing simple exercises three times a week, and taking out a lot of junk food. That's it. No crazy diets. No strenuous exercise expectations. Something we can do. I'm just focusing on the actual action of the change at this point- the habit of persistence.

Like Emerson said, 

“That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do, not that the nature of the thing has changed but that our power to do has increased.”

And when we have made these things habits, we will focus more on how this family will help the poor and elderly. Then we will focus on saving money. Or, maybe the other way around. I don't know. 

Side note; I'm not saying this means I won't help the less-fortunate while I'm focusing on physical health. I can and I will when I can. It's just not going to be a primary focus at this time. 

Because, one at a time is what I was advised. By God. 

This means that I have to be okay with slower progression in other areas. You know? That's the hardest thing about it. While I'm getting better at putting good stuff in my body, my house will still be disorganized. And I just have to be okay with that. I believe that the better I do, the better I'll do. By improving one area, other areas will follow suit. And I gotta trust the process, trust my God, and be patient and faithful. 

Here's hopin'.