My Bishop

My bishop is amazing. I've been blessed, time after time, with fantastic bishops. I have heard people complain about their bishops, and either they're really picky, or I'm extraordinarily blessed in my wards. Or both.

My Bishop, we'll call him Bishop White. He is very humble and merciful and so kind. ALL of my bishops have been! (I've moved a lot.) But Bishop White, he's particularly intuitive. He's very close to the Spirit, and I just love him. Today, he was a part of something of a small miracle in my life. (Speaking of, he advised me today to start paying attention to daily miracles.) You see, last week I'd wanted/needed to meet with him but when I'd been unable to get a hold of the Executive Secretary. So this week, I didn't really even try to get a hold of him. This morning, I regretted that choice and acknowledged that I needed to see the bishop again. So I prayed that I would be given the opportunity at church.

After Sacrament Meeting, the bishop approached me and asked if I needed to meet with him. Yes, bishop. Yes I do. Thank you.

My favorite thing about Bishop White is he makes himself so so available. I have so much pride and I hate asking people for help if I think it will take them outside of their routine, or their plans. So if I can't make an appointment with the right person, I tend to give up. Because if I ask the bishop directly, well, that's not going through the right channels, and that's asking the bishop to go outside his responsibility.

Except that I'm the bishop's responsibility. And he's helped me understand that. He has given me every chance to get a hold of him when I need him. He has specified that even in the darkest hours of the morning, he'll be available to me! I am so grateful to him for that. And YES, I may be taking him from his family. And YES I may be upsetting his plans, even plans of sleep. But he's my bishop. MY bishop. And if I need him, it's his responsibility to be there for me. And I don't need to worry about his family, or his plans, because God's going to take care of him. It's not my job to look after the bishop. It's my job to take care of myself and my family, and if that means upsetting the bishop's plans, so be it. God will take care of him. Silly Erin. Let the bishop be a bishop.

I'm so grateful that he has made himself available. My previous bishops have also been available but I haven't felt as comfortable in asking them to help me, because of my own pride. It's unfortunate that this bishop has had to color out his responsibilities for me in order for me to really get it, but I'm so grateful he did.

Not that I should call him up asking him what I should feed my kids for breakfast on Saturday morning. But I know that. And I know the difference.

He's suggested I find an antidote. The poison is pornography. What's the antidote? What's the thing that will take as much focus but distract me from the sin? I don't know. He gave some suggestions. I'll try them. There's gotta be something.

Well. I'm committed again. I'm determined again. I'm going to feed my spirit more and more. I'm not giving up and I won't give in.

And the Lord is so merciful and he wants me Home still! of course He does. He's so patient with me.