Humble Yourself

Continuing: So I read stories of deliverance. Perhaps my favorite was when Aaron and Muloki and Ammah were imprisoned, starved, bound. They were patient in their afflictions. How can you be patient when you're in prison for doing the Lord's work? If they can be patient with that, and starvation, then I can be patient in my warm home, sleeping each night in a comfortable bed with a filled belly. I get to be comfortable in my afflictions; the least I can do is be patient. I have that HUGE advantage over these sufferers.

So, while they're patiently suffering, and faithfully, no doubt, Ammon is preaching and converting a king and queen. Then, the Lord tells Ammon to go get his brethren out of prison in a different land. And he does. And he frees them. And they're delivered.

God is always aware of us. He needed Ammon to convert several people before he sent him to deliver the prisoners. "Hey guys, sorry I didn't come earlier, I was converting a ton of people." "no problem! I'd be glad to be tied up and starved for our fellow men to be saved! We're free now, no big deal."

Deliverance will always come to the faithful. I really believe that.

Then, the great deliverance of thousands of Lamanites. They were converted, and delivered from sin and hell.

Jesus has come to deliver me from the chains of sin. He has been after me all these years, trying to get me to come back.

After the very inspiring General Conference, I had a long talk with God. I think I'm really giving it up. I'm giving up my sins to know Him. I'm tired of the depression. I'm tired of not having the Spirit with me always. I'm so tired of my laziness. And I'm not afraid of the responsibility I have anymore.

Remember that door I wrote of earlier, the door I envision, the door that leads to happiness? That one that I can't seem to enter with my whole self? I have imagined myself at this door many times. Just at it. There's the door on one side, just in front of me, and a cliff behind me. The cliff was getting closer and closer, eroding away with my rebellion. Well, during my prayer, I envisioned myself entering the door, with both feet. And there was the Savior, and he pulled me to Him, and we closed the door.

I'm not opening it. Ever.

Now I'm on the side of the Savior. I'm with Him now. Satan is attacking all the time. I think, actually, right now, he's stopped his attacks, but I know he's trying to trick me. He's planning another attack. But I'll be ready. Bring it on, Satan, I have God with me, I have my Savior with me, I have my bishop on my side, and we are stronger than you. He was there, so strong, after I made some commitments to God. I could feel him trying to change my mind and weaken my resolve, so I called my bishop. :D

I've known for some time that I need to humble myself. But how? How does one humble oneself?

I'm still learning, but I know that faithful study of the scriptures each day is one way.

The road before me is hard and rocky and thorny and steep. But, I now realize, HELLO, I can handle rocks and thorns and hills. So what if it's hard? I can do hard things. I know the way.

I'm sorry that I've refused to see until now. I'm sorry that I've chosen death and misery before now. I wish that I'd made this decision earlier, but I'm grateful that I'm making it. I'm grateful to my Savior for coming to rescue me out of the dark that I created for my own self. I'm going back with Him.

I mentioned before that when I'm in the thick of it, it's just too hard to get out. And it IS. I can't handle it at that point, for the most part. Which is why it's never gonna get to that point again. I have the tools of Salvation at my side, all the time. Now I shall implement them.

I'm happy.

I choose Jesus. I choose Life. I'm going Home.