There Goes the Year

Of course I wanted to avoid acting out the entire 2012. Already, that's shot. And so I'm tempted to think "Well, there goes the year. May as well give up the rest of this year and try again next year."

I don't believe that of course, but I'd like to. Kind of.

But, here's what I did yesterday. I bought an alarm clock. That way, I don't have to take my phone to bed. Usually, when I give in, I use my phone to look up stories online and so on. And I had to have my phone with me, or so I rationalized, because it's what I used as an alarm. Well yesterday, I set up my new alarm clock radio and charged my phone in the living room. That's where it will be nightly, the living room. I think this will also help with my sleep problems. I usually play games and check facebook and maybe chat a bit in my bed until I fall asleep. I soon found that sleep was harder and harder to come by.

Last night, I fell asleep pretty fast. It was beautiful. But I missed my phone, and I'm a bit ashamed to say that it was very difficult to not take my phone to bed with me.

I wish that God would take from me my agency in just this one thing only! I wish that He would take away my sexual desire and then restore it if/when I remarry.

I'm excited about the alarm clock. I think it will help.

I hope God will free me.