Fortifications

I think I know what happened.

I wasn't overwhelmed this time. I wasn't sad. I wasn't worried or fearful. I was simply tempted. And I was unprepared.

I admit this with no small amount of shame. All week, I've been receiving reminders that I need to study my scriptures, that I need to open up my ARP workbook and work. And I've been ignoring those promptings. Had I followed them, I believe that I would have been sufficiently strong to overcome the temptations that bombarded me last night.

I'm so sorry.

Onward, friends. I am reminded of my son's example to me when, after making a very bad choice, he didn't lock himself up in his room and pout; he went to work. He cleaned almost the entire house, without being asked. I knew he was sorry because he was working hard for me and his sister (the victim). I need to show God that I am sorry by working. Not by pouting in my bedroom. Not by beating myself up. Not by limiting my natural joy. I am not ALL bad! I can have some joy because I do other things right.

But I can't ignore the bad choices. I'm not sure how to balance it all, but I'm going to do what I can. The next time temptation comes, I'll be prepared. I'm sick of this.