Benefits of Recovery

In four months, I've had 2 "slips." That's pretty good. To me, it's a byproduct of recovery; not the sole indicator of recovery. I have been in some sort of recovery mode for many years. I have been honestly trying to overcome ever since I was 16. That was 16 years ago! It's been a rough 16 years, and I have learned so much.

My recovery sped when I felt more support around me. It was like I was stuck until I found someone who could understand. And now I know many someones who understand, and it's so empowering! I have been working harder all the time, and I'm very happy to report that it shows in my life.

~I'm happier. I mean, I'm happy. I'm happy!!
~I am a better mother. I have discovered that I'm more connected with my kids. I'm more willing to listen to them and play with them and parent them. I'm not constantly distracted by sexual thoughts and sins. I had no idea that it was taking me from my family so much!
~The fog is dissipating. My days aren't dark and murky anymore.
~When I have a rough day, I bounce back so much more quickly than I used to.
~I feel the Spirit! I feel the Spirit guide my thoughts and warn me and comfort me. It's wonderful!
~I am more faithful.
~I have more energy to do righteous things. One example (of many) is that scripture reading is no longer a chore to me. I still read mostly just to get through, but it's not something I do with dread anymore. I am almost to the point where I look forward to scripture time. I also hold FHE more regularly.
~I know I can overcome all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
~I forgive myself more readily and I am patient with myself.
~I am coming out of hiding. I have courage to answer phone calls from strange numbers!
~I have more friends, and I enjoy them more.
~I enjoy everything more!!

I always figured that somewhere in me was a naturally cheery, happy person. I am finding her. I am finding me. I love this journey. I love myself. I know that I have worth that is fixed and unalterable; I cannot change it by thought or deed. God loves me and He is taking all the time I need to rescue me.

Life is incredible, especially now that I'm living it rather than hiding from it! Well.... I still have a ways to go. But, I'm not hiding as much as before, and I'm living much more than before. Look at me! Look at what God can do to a wounded, deathly ill soul! Look what God can create with a broken heart and a contrite spirit! I can't wait to see who I become as I offer Him more and more of my heart.