A Mark of Progress

Numbers:
58 days since my last slip
298 days since I first began enjoying abstinence with recovery
About 21 days (estimate) till I can get my temple recommend back

Whoa! 298 days ago was when I began climbing out of active addiction. I haven't been active in addiction since! I have had three slips since then and one mini-relapse. That's what I call it. It was a series of slips (like four maybe) over a period of about 2 weeks. That was my last one. That was a horrible one. Anyway, notwithstanding the minor setbacks, this is remarkable progress!! Before 298 days ago, making it two weeks without indulging was a miracle. Now, I've had only a few slips in 298 days. And that is a miracle!

This has been a joint effort between me and Heavenly Father. I walk a step, He carries me fifty steps. I step, He carries. And so it goes. And so I know that as long as I keep moving forward, walking toward my Savior, I will keep finding this success.

The past two months have been exceedingly challenging. I'll spare you the details (you're welcome), but just know that challenges have been piling on top of me, one after another, week after week. And they're not petty challenges, either, but big ones.

It's hard.

I have been tempted on many occasions to give up hope. I've been tempted to give up trying to get out of this circumstantial mess. I've been tempted to rush back to my old comfort, my Marsha, and escape for a moment in the secret delight of counterfeit pleasures. Daily, I think about Marsha. Daily, I think about giving up. Daily, something tries to convince me that it's too hard, that I can't do it, that I must rely on my addictions.

But, daily, I turn to the True Source of my comfort. Daily, I reject lies that I am worthless. Daily, I am reminded that I am not in this alone. My God hath been my support! He hath filled me with his love unto the consuming of my flesh! I know in whom I have trusted. Oh, Lord, I will trust in Thee forever.

My point is, with all these trials happening, with varying challenges every single day, I have not given up. I have not given in. God has granted me grace according to my faith and efforts, and daily, He is saving me. He is keeping me afloat in this sea of burdens. A year ago, these circumstances would have sent me into a spiraling, lasting relapse. I know that. I know that a year ago, I couldn't have handled these happenings the way I am now. It's a beautiful and inspiring mark of progress. I know that I have come a long way, and so I know I that I can go a long way still.

With God as my Father, and Jesus as my guide, I will not fail when I trust in Them.

I am ever-grateful for the ongoing rescue on my behalf. My eternal life and immortality are God's work and glory-- and that is incredible! I mean so much to Him. And so, to Him, I return.