It's the Simple Things that Save Us

To be very honest, I've been struggling lately with my testimony. Recently, someone close to me, in my family, left the church. She and her husband decided that they know it's not true, that they know leaving the church is the best thing for them and their family. I'm surprised at how much their decision affected me personally. I was shocked, for one, and at first I was just devastated. I cried a lot. I knew they were making the wrong decision. I knew it.

But then I thought some more about it and I wasn't so sure. This family member is very smart, caring, wonderful and good. And she still is, and still will be, of course. I started to think how does this happen? How does one who was so firmly grounded in the Church decide it's not true anymore? I knew there MUST be a reason. She wouldn't do this without thought and maybe even prayer, and anyway, I started to question some things. I've questioned things about the Church before, but NEVER with the idea that maybe the Church isn't the true Church. So these doubts and questions started filling my mind.

I haven't cleared them all up yet, but here's what I can't deny:

-God's love. I have felt His love and I can't ever, ever deny it. Nor can I adequately explain it. To KNOW God loves you and to FEEL His love are different. I know He loves me all the time. I don't FEEL that love all the time. I couldn't! It would be overwhelming! But there have been special, sacred moments when I have been on my knees, sometimes pleading for remission, sometimes praising and thanking my God for the Atonement, and in those moments I have felt God's love. In my life, I've experienced a lot of wonderful things. I've been lucky to fall in love twice. I've experienced the joy of marriage. I've experienced the incredible, incomparable joy of bearing and raising children. None of that compares to what I felt when my Father visited me with His sweet, sweet love. If you want to feel that, ask for it. Nothing is so exquisite, nothing is so deeply peaceful, nothing is so sweet. Those memories keep me going. If that's what Heaven is like, then that's where I want to be. I want to be able to feel that Love all the time. For now, it's too overwhelmingly beautiful to carry with me always. I would collapse beneath its humbling power!

-Jesus' work. He has worked so hard for me. I can't deny that. I have felt Him fetch me from the darkness time after time. I have felt the healing His Sacrifice offers. I know that He AND my Father both separately, individually, deeply love me. No one loves me like They do. From Them, I begin to understand my worth.

-The Holy Ghost's promptings. Remember the burlesque? I had a POWERFUL warning to NOT attend. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. By all accounts, I was attending a fun variety show. But I KNOW that I was warned by the Spirit to decline the invitation and stay home. I ignored that, and am STILL suffering the consequences. I even told my friend "I have a bad feeling about this. Please drive carefully." I wish I would have listened. But the point is, I was divinely inspired to avoid that horrible show. Undeniable.

Here's another thing. When I consistently and sincerely search the scriptures, I am cloaked with a peaceful protection. With few exceptions, the days I fall are days I haven't read the scriptures. When I pray all through the day, I am protected. When I have the Spirit close to me, carnal desires flee. I cannot deny that, either.

So, if reading the Book of Mormon brings me peace, power and protection, and even energy-- it must be a good book. If praying brings me peace amidst chaos, clarity from confusion-- it must be a good thing. I believe, my friends, that it is these simple things that ultimately bring us salvation from everything that seeks to destroy and imprison us. How easy it is to dedicate a few minutes to study holy words, and a few minutes to speak to our Creator. Sometimes I wonder why I avoid them if they're so easy.

This week, I'll focus on reading my scriptures EVERY DAY with intent to have the Spirit in my life.

It's a good day. :D