Parents of Porn Stars

Most of my mom's side of the family are very active in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. She has a very big family, so that's saying a lot. Of course, we have a few who have chosen other paths. One of my very many cousins has chosen a lifestyle of parties, alcohol, late nights, clubs, etc., perhaps typical for an American young man his age. He's in his mid 20's I believe. I was looking through some new pictures on his Facebook page, which pictures depict just the lifestyle I described. He was partying and drinking, hanging out with a lot of people who were playing drinking games with him. I thought, it must break his parents' hearts to see these kinds of pictures, wherein their son, their beloved son, is partaking in activities and of substances that may well destroy his body and soul. How it must just kill them!

If my daughter, my sweet, beloved daughter, grew up and became a porn star of sorts, and had pictures of herself, which pictures demeaned her identity and destroyed others in the process, it would just kill me. It would just kill me. She is better than that, she is so much more than that. If she allowed herself to be an object, oh how it would hurt me! And do you know what else? Anyone who looked at her, and supposed her to be an object of their pleasure . . . . well, I would hope that I would never meet such an one. Because I would be so angry. How dare you, I would think, how dare you look at my daughter in that way! HOW DARE YOU SEE HER THAT WAY! How dare you! I would be infuriated at anyone who would hurt my baby like that.

Thankfully, my God is merciful to me. More merciful, I believe, than I would ever be to someone who intentionally hurt my princess. For I have done that to His precious, beloved daughters and sons, I have done that to them. And these women, and men, they all have mommies and daddies, many of whom, I'm sure, love them dearly as I love my sweet daughter. And I have chosen to watch these children of God make terrible choices, I have perpetuated this evil work, I have seen the daughters and sons of moms and dads, I watched them with a degree of pleasure as they ruin their lives. I have taken pleasure in their children's destruction. And now, since I would ask anyone who would take pleasure in my child's hell, I must ask myself "How dare you?"

I can't look at porn anymore. I hope it's permanent, I pray it's permanent. And what I mean to say is, like I mentioned before, that I can't look at real people porn anymore. I can't do that to moms and dads anymore, or to my God, my Father, the Father of these "porn stars."

And to the parents of all the people I've looked at over the past years, I am truly sorry. I'm sorry that I've done that to your children. I can't say I'm sorry enough but I can't be sorry enough.

God, forgive me.