Six Days

Well, here we go again.

I have hired a new therapist. I start again in January. I hope it works out. I mean, I hope it helps. It'll be a woman this time, thank goodness. I think it'll be better. I hope something clicks enough to really get this addiction under my control. It's been controlling me, in some extent, for 16 years!! MOST OF MY LIFE. I started before I even had any idea what I was doing, or that it was wrong. Having entered my life before my brain was developed fully, no wonder it's so hard.

That's not an excuse. I want this out of my life and I'll get it out of my life.

I'm blessed with a great job. I have a high deductible health insurance plan which allows me a health savings account. I put so much into it a month, and so does my employer. I used very little of it this year and have nearly $1000 left. I recently discovered that I can use it to pay for counseling. If I have another great year medically, and blessedly avoid medical emergencies, I'll be good for several sessions. I'm so grateful for my job. I'm excited to try therapy again.

Christmas is on a Sunday and it's in two weeks. My goal is here written, and is that I'll be able to take the Sacrament on Christmas day. That means I need to be clean until then.

God is teaching me, little by little, line upon line. I can't wait to be free.

I just realized- this is my 100th post! Too bad it's not exciting. Sad that I've posted about this addiction 100 times and I'm still so deep in it!