33

Quickly, I just read over my Pharaoh post. I forgot to post again that I don't believe I'm Moses and my addictions are Pharaoh anymore. I think it's the other way around. I'm more like Pharaoh, who refuses to let my addictions go, despite the miracles that are continually placed before me. I just hope it doesn't take something as drastic as what convinced Pharaoh to release Moses' people to convince me to release my addictions.

Happy Thanksgiving, Readers! I am alone today. My dinner was yesterday with my family, and today the kids are with their father. We had a wonderful feast!

I have some fantastic news. Today is day 33, clean and sober! No porn, no masturbation, nothin! Since I've been counting, I believe I've never made it longer than this before! You know, that's kindof embarrassing. 33 Days is NOT that long. But.... How sweet it is! Even though it's not all that long, this is a milestone for me! This is huge! Look where God has carried me! I didn't resist Him this time!

I've been praying like crazy. I've been talking to a new friend, whom I met in a Facebook anti-porn group. She is similarly struggling and she is amazing. And I love her. I and LOVE having someone to "talk" to, who shares the same religious beliefs that I have, who UNDERSTANDS me! She doesn't ever judge me, she doesn't ever mock me, she just listens and encourages and loves. And I help her in the same way. At least I think I do. At least I hope I do! Having someone to share these things with has been a beautiful blessing. I can tell her "oh crap, I had a naughty dream last night and I want to keep on thinking about it and expounding on it, but I also want it to get out of my head so I STOP thinking about it! It's so unfair!" and she understands exactly where I'm coming from. It's incredible. We've connected on many other levels, too, I think. What a blessing. May I suggest, if you're struggling with these issues, find a friend who's in the same boat, talk it out with her (I do suggest a same-gender friend), listen to her struggles and LET HER LIFT YOU. You can email me, too. My email is on the top right of this blog. Feel free.

I'm so grateful! So grateful on this Day of Thanks for all my blessings. I have food in my belly every day of my life. I have a warm place to call my own and a little piece of land on this Earth. I have a job! I have the greatest little kids ever, a wonderful, loving family, amazing friends. God has given me so much every day. Health, senses, use of limbs, properly performing organs, safety, healthy and safe children, this beautiful free Land, and most importantly, a knowledge of my Redeemer! A knowledge and personal witness of His healing, ceaseless, powerful love! Look how far He's taken me!

Here's to another 30 days clean. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.