To Tell the Family

I've been strangely considering telling my family about my addiction. Oh, this would be a terrible thing to do! But I just keep thinking about it. I know they'd still love me. But they may look at my differently, particularly my sister, who's been directly and deeply hurt by someone else's addiction to the same things I'm addicted to. I don't know. Telling them would add prayers to my own, to my recovery. I could gain a lot of strength just by letting them know. But it would be so awkward, especially if anyone brought it up at, say, the Thanksgiving Dinner table. I mean I'm definitely the black sheep in the family. I don't think they'd understand. They would love me. They would encourage me to keep the faith. They wouldn't turn me away. But... they wouldn't understand. And I can't expect them to. I imagine some of them, if not most of them, would judge me.

There are pros and there are cons.

I don't know, though, I just keep picturing myself telling them!

Next Friday, I'm doing the musical number for the area Addiction Recovery Program meeting, which meeting will combine the local groups. Much like a fireside. And I'm playing the piano. I'm thinking I just may invite my family. And when they see me approach the mic and say "I'm Erin, and I'm an addict," they will wonder.

But if I'm going to tell them, I think the meeting would be a great way to do so. Because the Spirit will be at this meeting. There will be Love, God's love, at this meeting. And maybe my family will see that I'm just a human, a woman, struggling like anyone else, just trying to return to God. And they'll see that I'm not a Godless, hopeless, aimless, wicked soul.

The meeting is a week away. I don't know what I'll do. I don't think I'll invite my family. But I wonder if I should.