Honest

I must be honest with myself. I must accept my responsibility. The reason I've fallen these past few times is because I've gone back to spiritual laziness. I've begun to neglect faithful scripture study.

Remarkable to me is the power the Scriptures hold. When I am devouring the Word, I find much more protection.

Remember how excited I was that the Scriptures were coming to life for me? Well... that stopped happening one day, all of a sudden. Every day for several consecutive days, I received some sort of revelation during scripture study, and then, it stopped. I thought, well, it can't be special every day. But, the next day was the same. Nothin. Just plain ol' silly war stories. Nothin to apply to me. So I thought, okay, so those first several days were just a great streak. Now, this doesn't apply to me but I'll keep reading anyway. Same thing the next day. Then the Scriptures got boring. And I quit reading with intent.

Maybe it's true that some days' readings will impact me more than others'. But, I don't think there should ever be a day when I can't find something that would apply to me. I should have looked harder.

I haven't made an appointment with the bishop. Tithing settlements are going on, and anyway I'm just terrified to talk to him about what I've done.