Merry Christmas

For unto us a child is born! For unto Erin a Son is given!

I love this time of year. I love how the world, even when it evades every thought of Jesus Christ, must think of Him now, for His name is in this holiday's name. Even when people write "Xmas," IF they are doing it to purposefully cross out the name of Jesus, they think of Him when they do so. (Though, I don't think that's the case... I think most use it simply as a legitimate shortcut to writing out "Christmas." I, myself, knowing 'X' is the Greek letter for "Chi" and therefore became a symbol of Christ's very title, have no problem with Xmas.)

Pardon my tangent.

I wonder if all these thoughts on Jesus' name is partly what makes this time of year so wonderful. So many people all thinking of Jesus at once - even if briefly, even if accidentally, even if grudgingly - must do SOME good, right?

I have had a wonderful day. This week was rough because I didn't have my kids. They were with their father from Monday to yesterday night. I was lonely. But I was prepared. I knew it would be difficult. I knew I would have a hard time being alone so long, and I'm always sad when my kids aren't with me. And I know that sadness + loneliness = Erin's guard dropping, often. So I made sure to study my scriptures and pray sincerely and not spend a lot of time at home in the evening and not spend a lot of time on the computer. And I made it through! I'm so grateful! I feel so much better right now than I would have if I'd opened myself to temptation. But I remained closed to it. And I feel great.

Right now, even though my kids are home, I do feel a bit tempted. But it's Christmas Day, Reader, and I just couldn't do something so awful on Christmas Day. Well, I won't. I guess I could.

One problem for me is I forget. I fail to hold in remembrance things that are so important. But, I realized today that I know how to do this. I know how to retain things in remembrance. I'm always so extremely grateful for my health, and for the health of my kids. I constantly think on children who have cancer, on women who have horrible diseases, on people in general who have to suffer through pain and misery all the time because of their poor health, due to no fault of their own. And I am so very grateful that I am not currently in such a situation. I am profoundly grateful for the use of all my limbs, my senses, my mind; and for that of my children. And I know that it may not always be so. We may wake one morning and one of us may lose use of something. One of us may, at any time, become a severely disabled human being. But, we are very healthy now . . . and I am always grateful for that. And I tell my kids that they're so lucky, and I tell my kids about other kids that have cancer and other sicknesses and physical disabilities, and I even remind them that some kids just get mildly sick frequently, and how lucky are we that, so far, we only get a little bit sick once or twice a year. I am truly grateful for my health.

So, if I can remember that, all the time, then why can't I remember how sick I feel after I participate in sins involving pornography, until I'm THERE again? Why don't I bring to remembrance all the time the Sacrifice Jesus suffered for me, and therefore avoid hurting Him? Why do I not recall how beautiful it feels to be wrapped up tightly in the love of the Father, which feeling I get when I am walking in His path?

I'm going to try something. Whenever I reflect upon my good fortune in regards to the health of my family, I'm going to think about Jesus' love for me, and I'm going to remember how I don't want to disappoint Him anymore. And I'll take that moment to resolve again to match my will with His. And I'll take that moment to reflect on how beautiful it is to walk in righteousness, as well as in health. And this won't even be much of a stretch because when I'm contemplating how sweet it is to be strong in mind and body, my thoughts inevitably reach upward anyway, for I know from Whom those blessings come.

Lately, I keep coming across an interesting word in my scripture study. The word is an adverb "circumspectly," and is usually proceeded by the verb "walk." Usually something like "they must walk circumspectly to gain true happiness" or "because they did not walk circumspectly their lives sucked" or some such thing. So I looked up this word. From dictionary.com:

cir·cum·spect
   [sur-kuhm-spekt]
–adjective
1. watchful and discreet; cautious; prudent: circumspect behavior.
2. well-considered: circumspect ambition.

—Synonyms
1. careful, vigilant, guarded.

—Antonyms
1. careless, indiscreet.

I don't do this. I don't walk circumspectly. One could scarcely run circumspectly. I kinda get the feel of deliberation. To walk circumspectly, I need to be deliberate. Considerate. Careful. Vigilant and guarded.

I'm not there, but I think I'm moving in the right direction. I think my little "remember" exercise may help me become a little more deliberate. I hope so anyway.

God bless you on this Christmas Day and always!