But I Smell Freedom

One reason I made it through was because my Father in Heaven provided me with some wonderful ammo. I was half thinking half praying, asking why am I feeling this way?! Why is it so hard today? I remembered suddenly a scripture phrase: "effectual struggle." I wondered where it was in the scriptures and what it was talking about. It seemed pretty applicable. So on my break at work, I found the verse, and through it, God spoke to me. I share it with you now. From chapter 7 of the book of Mosiah from the Book of Mormon:

v 18 And it came to pass that when they had gathered themselves together that he spake unto them in this wise, saying: O ye, my people, lift up your heads and be comforted; for behold, the time is at hand, or is not far distant, when we shall no longer be in subjection to our enemies, notwithstanding our many strugglings, which have been in vain; yet I trust there remaineth an effectual struggle to be made.

OR, I like it this way: Oh, my Erin, lift up your head and be comforted! For behold, the time is at hand, or is not far distant, when you shall no longer be in subjection to your enemies and your addictions, notwithstanding your many struggles, which have been in vain. Yet I tell you there is still an effectual struggle to be made."

I feel like I just need to get over this hill. No, it's a mountain. And I feel like it's going to be extremely painful and difficult, but I feel like once I make it over this HUGE last hurdle, I will be more whole. I'll be out of muddy waters and in God's constant grace. Of course, I know once I'm there, I'll need to make every effort to stay there and to continue to improve, but I feel like the time is not far distant when I shall no longer be in subjection to my addictions. Just there is still an effectual struggle.

What is an effectual struggle, I asked myself? "Struggle" I know very well. But I had to look up effectual. From thefreedictionary.com:

"ef·fec·tu·al ( -f k ch - l). adj. Producing or sufficient to produce a desired effect; fully adequate."

So the struggle which the people of Limhi faced yet, and the struggle which I face yet, is effectual. Can be, anyway, should I choose for it to be. The desired effect would be, ultimately, freedom from my addictions and low sense of worth. I can choose for my next struggle to be effectual! THIS struggle. THIS battle that I'm currently fighting. I hope I'm about to win the war.

I don't expect perfection from myself while I struggle. I only expect my best.

The verses continue:
19 Therefore, lift up your heads, and rejoice, and put your trust in God, in that God who was the God of Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob; and also, that God who brought the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt, and caused that they should walk through the Red Sea on dry ground, and fed them with manna that they might not perish in the wilderness; and many more things did he do for them.

-so if I believe that God is the same yesterday, today and forever, then I believe that He'll help me as He helped Abraham, Isaac, the Israelites, etc. And I do. I believe He can and will deliver me out of bondage!

20 And again, that same God has brought our fathers out of the land of Jerusalem, and has kept and preserved his people even until now; and behold, it is because of our iniquities and abominations that he has brought us into bondage.

I know why I'm imprisoned. It's my choices.

And I close with the last verse of the chapter:
33 But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage.

I was built to overcome this.