Learning the Spirit's Voice

You know those people who go around following the Spirit? They're always happy and they're always good and they always have stories in Relief Society or Gospel Doctrine about a time when they listened to the Spirit's voice? I'm sure they're not actually always happy and good, but it certainly does seem to me that people who are the happiest are the people who know the Spirit's voice well.

I don't know the Spirit's voice well. I get confused-- is that my own thought or the Spirit? I figure that trial and error is the best way to learn something like this. I have been praying that I'll learn the Spirit's voice, and Heavenly Father has blessed me with beautiful experiences in answer to those prayers.

First of all, my appointment with my stake president was amazing! I was so scared that he would be annoyed with me taking his time. I was so scared that it wasn't the voice of the Spirit that was prompting me to speak to him. I was so afraid that I was wrong, but I did it anyway, in case. And after our discussion, I'm certain I followed the Spirit. I was supposed to talk to him. I'm so thankful for that experience!

Heavenly Father blessed me with another experience. I had this idea that I needed to do some service, and that I could make dinner for someone else. Dinner, I can do. No problem. But for whom? When I asked myself that question, a name immediately appeared in my head. It was the name of a friend of mine. We're not super close but we probably will be soon. We hang out sometimes and talk on Facebook sometimes and she's in my ward and she's just lovely. I knew I could make dinner for her, and it wouldn't even be so awkward. I had a very specific day in my head as to when I would make this dinner. And I did. She has a husband and three kids, so I made enough for the family and went to deliver the dinner.

When I got to her house, her car wasn't there. Immediately doubt and panic filled my brain. Something like this: Oh, no, she's not even home, obviously I was wrong and I don't know the Spirit. Oh, no. This is so embarrassing. Heavenly Father, please help me to know who else I should give this to, because I'm not taking it home. I can't believe I did this wrong! Some neighbors are going to see me standing here and think I'm crazy!

Well, I parked in her driveway just in case. I walked to the door, just in case. I knocked. I heard nothing. I waited, just in case. And then, finally, her husband opened the door! I don't know him at all and I was sure he didn't know who I was. I said something lame like, "Oh, I'm glad you're home. I brought you dinner." And I gave him the food. I asked if my friend was home and he said she was out of town. So then I thought, are you kidding me? I made all this for one person? A married man who is home alone, even? That's so weird. I have to be getting this all wrong. I asked him when she'd be home, just for small talk, and he said in about an hour.

Oh! Perfect! I was so glad! Now she'd come home from a long-ish drive and not have to worry about dinner! I was so relieved that it made sense!

Later, my friend told me how much she appreciated the dinner because not only had she been driving for so long with three small kids, she'd also not slept well in a while and she was very tired. And she was so thankful that Heavenly Father knew what she needed without her even asking for it.

I know that not all experiences will be so cut and dry, but I think that God knows I need practice here. I have asked Him to please give me a few more experiences that will make sense, and then once I get the hang of listening, and once I trust myself to know His Voice, and trust Him enough, then I won't need so much feedback. He's so good to us!

I want to be an instrument in His hands. I want to be the kind of person who goes around doing good, and knowing just what good to do, because of following the Voice of the Spirit. I want to constantly be in the service of the Lord, constantly helping His children, constantly being God's instrument and doing His work. It's the least I can do after all He's done for me. He is pulling me out of Hell. He is freeing me from certain death and bondage. He is carrying me out of the filth of my past, and releasing me from the chains that I have so carefully tightened around my soul. He is lifting me above the darkness! And the least I can do is feed His sheep. It's also the only thing I can do. I can show Him my gratitude by serving His children.

Today, I read this in the book of Mosiah, chapter 23, verse 10: Nevertheless, after much tribulation, the Lord did hear my cries, and did answer my prayers, and has made me an instrument in his hands in bringing so many of you to a knowledge of his truth.

That is also my prayer. That is also what I hope He makes out of me. I want to be His instrument! I want Him to play His redeeming music through me.