Recovery List

I was working the steps and finally did step 4 when I encountered my sponsor. She saved my life and then suggested that I start the steps over again, because doing them with the help of a sponsor is a different experience. I agreed.

This was three months ago and I'm still on step 1. It's not going well! I'm simply not doing the work. There's always something "better" to do.

I think it was Tuesday night at my PASG meeting that I realized I needed to decide to do something every single day, something toward recovery. At first I thought I was going to work out of my workbook each day but then I realized there's a lot of other things I can do with the direct focus on recovery- a lot of other things I should do as well. My goal is to at least once weekly open up the manual and dive in. At least. And now, I'm going to make a personal list for myself to use in case I get stumped on what I can do toward my recovery. These things will help me, and in case they'd help you, I post them:

Read a story of Jesus from the New Testament
Read a Conference talk
Clean my bedroom
Pay a bill
Make a phone call that I've been putting off
Memorize a scripture verse
Memorize an inspiring poem
Write a recovery-related poem or song
Write in my journal
Forgive a grudge
Make dinner for someone else
Return something borrowed
Return a phone call
Return an email
Return a text (I am terrible, terrible at returning things-- it feeds my addiction, too)

This list is subject to change. I believe that if I do one thing, every day, with recovery as my focus, that I'll become stronger.

Tuesday, I attended a meeting, and I counted that as being the thing I did toward recovery for that day. I don't get to count that again, though. I always attend those and it's not "extra." Yesterday, I made an appointment with my stake president. It was so hard to call the stake executive secretary! The phone call itself was excruciating! I'm not kidding. My anxiety was probably worse than the actual event, though. Anyway, I definitely count that as working toward recovery. (By the way, my appointment is Sunday, at 2:30, and I am exceedingly nervous.) Today, I haven't done anything yet. I don't know why, but I am resisting, like crazy, the idea of opening up my ARP manual!

Obviously, that's what I need to do today. I'll do it now.

But I'm so tired
But I can do it tomorrow; I'll have more time
But I really should sleep
But I haven't watched TV in two weeks and I have shows to catch up on
But I need to wash my dishes
But I'm blogging
But a friend might want to chat on Facebook
But I don't have the time to give it an honest effort tonight


SHUT UP, Satan. I'm doing it now.