To the Men

My heart is heavy.

Tonight was probably my last night attending the PASG meeting I've been attending for several months now. About a year, I think. Maybe more. Maybe less. I have come to know and love the men who attend. I have learned from them and grown because of them. I have come to love them, and appreciate them greatly. Oh, I will miss them.

The good news is, I will have a women's group to attend instead. They are kinda kicking us ladies out of the group because of the new women's group which begins next week. The bad news is, I will miss these men. A lot. And, the women's meeting is 30 minutes away.

Tonight's meeting was very short. Not many of the regular men were there. It's been hot here (we're talkin' 108 degrees hot), and maybe that kept some away. Plus, it's the week of the Fourth. I'm sad that many of the men I wanted to say goodbye to weren't there. But the meeting was spiritual, of course.

I want to say something to you men who are recovering from pornography addiction.
You are amazing. I see you in my PASG meetings and I read your blogs. You are good men. You give me hope that perhaps one day, I will also be able to find a good man. You show me what a good husband looks like. You work so hard on your marriages. You are patient with your wives as they take the time they need to trust you again. You want to be a good example for your children. You prepare yourself to be a good husband one day, or again. You take recovery seriously. You lean on Jesus for support and guidance. Your examples to me are priceless. I have come to learn so much from you and I have borrowed your strength when I had no more. Thank you for all that you do, and for who you are. I know some of you who are excommunicated and doing all you can to return. I know some of you who are going through divorces and doing all you can to keep your heads up. May God bless you in your times of trial and heartache, and may He continue to strengthen you, and keep you safe from harm and temptation. I love you. I care for you. I appreciate you.

And, to the men in my PASG group specifically, thank you from the bottom of my heart for showing me faith and hope. Thank you for welcoming me, even though I'm a woman. Thank you for your stories and your testimonies.

Most sincerely, and with hope,
~Stephanie J Martin

I am also excited for a women's group. But I'm scared. What if they won't accept me? What if I'm not as far in recovery as they are? What if I'm not like them? What if I don't make friends? Maybe even worse-- what if I do?

I've been praying an hoping for a women's group for so long and now it's here! Praise God! I didn't expect to meet this change with such resistance, though.

I am excited. I will let you know how it goes. :)