The worth of YOUR soul

Some people say "I have a low self worth." That is absolutely a lie. Nobody has a low self worth. It's impossible for one's worth to be low. One may have a false perception of his or her worth, but it's important to note that that perception is, indeed, false.

I'm going to be a little unconventional here, and speak in the "you" instead of the polite, PC, humbler "we." I realize I may come off as condescending, but I assure you, that is not my intent. My intent here is to tell you something that I have learned to be true, true for all souls. I have learned these truths by revelation, scripture, and words of the prophets. And so, it is with confidence that I use "you."

Many of you have already learned this truth. Many of you understand it even more than I do. I need to learn from you, and I appreciate your examples.

Moving on, your worth is unalterable. I have made mention of this before, I know, but think about it. You don't get to decide your worth. You can't change it. You can't increase or decrease your worth. Your worth doesn't belong to you. You didn't make it. Your worth has been assigned before you were born by a loving Creator. You can't change something intangible that He has made. Why do we try sometimes, to change the things we cannot change, particularly our worth?

Think of someone you love very much. This works best if you happen to be a parent, and can think of your child. If you're not, think of maybe a mother, grandparent, niece/nephew, etc. Someone you have a great deal of love, respect and admiration for. What if someone told you something like "that person is a bad person." Would you believe it? Would the value you've assigned to that person change? Would that person become less in your eyes? I dare say, no. Especially if it was your child. If someone told me something mean about my kid, my opinion would change about the person who said it, not about my child. In somewhat the same way, nothing anyone says about you can alter your worth. Nothing anyone feels about you can alter your worth. I happen to know some kids who don't like my son. His worth remains unaltered, even so. If people don't like you, guess what? Your worth remains unaltered. No one else gets to decide your worth. You don't even get to decide your worth!

I used to believe that the Atonement was good for everyone except me. I have heard other addicts mention that this same lie used to reside in their minds as well. How prideful is this idea? How is it possible that His sacrifice for all mankind would be for everyone but me? How did I justify removing myself from "all mankind?" Who do I think I am? I am not special. His sacrifice was for me. His Sacrifice can heal me. His Sacrifice included me-- and you-- in a very specific way. I no longer dare mock His love by believing He somehow skipped right over me.

If I bought a beautiful home for my family, and had given both my children every reason to believe they belong there with me, but my daughter decided she wasn't worthy and that I certainly hadn't bought it for her, too, I would be insulted. It would break my heart that she would think that little of me. If she said "No, that's not for me," I may respond, "It IS for you! I have a bedroom prepared just for you! This is for you!" It would break my heart that she would believe that I didn't want her in my home. And maybe we do the same thing to our Savior, when He offers us a gift, directly, and we reject it, saying "that's not for me." Maybe He's telling us, "It IS for you! I did this for you!"

Maybe He gets a little frustrated, maybe a little insulted when we reject His gift by saying silly things like we're not worthy, it can't be for us, etc.

No one can alter your worth and you can't alter your worth, and your worth is immeasurable. You have an infinite worth. You may have a low self esteem, and I'm sorry if you do. I do too, sometimes, but I'm getting so much better, because I'm getting so much closer to my God. Even though I may esteem myself unworthy, my worth yet remains unaltered. My self worth cannot change, even when I am in the depths of sin and despair. Even when I do unthinkable things. Even when I hate myself-- my worth is incredible, inexplicable, unchangeable, and infinite. Even when you hate yourself, your worth is infinitely, inexplicably, immeasurably valuable. You are infinitely, inexplicably, immeasurably valuable.

Someone once asked me "how do you frame yourself?" We are all like extremely valuable masterpieces. If you took Da Vinci's original Mona Lisa and framed it in a crappy, ugly frame, and hid it in the dark, would the value of the painting change? Conversely, if you framed one of my horrible stick figures in a beautiful, lavish, expensive frame, would my stick figure suddenly become worth millions? No. The frame doesn't dictate the value. But.... would you frame Mona Lisa in a crappy frame, and hide it in the dark? Are you kidding me? That is a masterpiece that deserves to be free, and seen, and loved.

How do you frame you? You have infinitely more worth that the Mona Lisa, but do you sometimes frame yourself in a crappy frame? I do. I do that still. I need to take better care of myself, of this masterpiece that God made. Me. I'm working on building myself a beautiful frame. I'm working on getting myself out of the dark corner. I know that I have worth beyond my ability to comprehend, and I know that there nothing I can do to change that. So I've stopped trying to change it. I used to love when I messed up because I could say to myself, "See? Told ya. You're worthless." Sinning was my way of validating my false belief that I was worthless. I like to be right.... a lot. It's a fault. And so, every time I made a mistake of any kind, it would somehow validate me, somehow it made me right. But I was so wrong! When I finally saw that my mistakes do not make me right, I was able to see a little more clearly and think to myself, "I can stop behaving like I'm worthless now, because I never can be worthless."

Since that realization, I am much more patient with me. And now I like me. My perception of my self worth is a little closer to the truth.

D&C 18:10 (slightly altered, but w/o alteration of the truth):
The worth of YOUR soul is great in the sight of God.

Moses 1:39 (slightly altered, but w/o alteration of the truth):
For behold, this is my work and my glory, to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of Stephanie.

(insert your own name, and the truth of the verse remains the same!)