Hodgepodge

I have so much to write about that I did not know what to title this post. So we'll just go with it.

Wow! Okay. So, I guess first of all, today is June 4th! Eight years ago today I was sealed to my sweet angel babies! My ex husband was a convert and we weren't married in the temple. 2 years after our wedding, we got sealed in the temple, by which time we had a 17 month old and a 3 month old. So we took those sweet angels of mine and all became a forever family on June 4, 2005. I am so thankful to be able to be their mother, forever. How I love them.

Next. Tender mercies! Oh, they are abundant! This past week I have been so blessed. People have been taking care of me. Men in my ward are taking care of my embarrassing yard. Doing my lawn mowing and weed trimming, fixing my sprinklers, and etc. It's so good to be cared about! Also, I am writing a novel this Summer, and an acquaintance told me she has actually written a book before, and offered to be my editor as well as show me the ropes of self publishing on Amazon! I do love Tender Mercies. God is so kind. As usual, He has also been encouraging me and confirming to me when I'm doing the right thing all week long. And let's not forget the temple recommend. Oh, sweet mercy!

Tonight was my PASG meeting. Ever since Annette from Standing in Holier Places started attending, I haven't been the only woman who goes! She actually managed to round up two more women, so now we either have three or four women in attendance each week. It's kinda fun not being the only one anymore. I love our meetings. I always feel the spirit and I always learn something. What good, good men we have in our group!

However, tonight was a little different. The high council member over the ARP was visiting on assignment. Well . . . he is in my ward. He is one of the men who helped me with my sprinklers! When I saw him, my first impulse was to not say a word. No sharing. He couldn't know a thing if I didn't share; he could only assume. But, then I remembered that I am trying so hard to identify with the word "courage," and also that soon, I'll be telling anyone about this addiction of mine. And one I made the decision to share, I didn't even fear anymore. Let him think what he will think. Besides, he is a good man, and I know he will still be respectful with me.

And finally, our last item of business. Tonight, I set up a date and time to complete Step 5! I asked my friend to help me accomplish step 5. She agreed. I can't believe I'm going to do Step 5! I can't imagine anything more difficult in regards to recovery! Seriously. It will begin next Monday at 8:30 pm. She will come over to my house and listen.

I chose this particular woman because she doesn't have a judgmental bone in her body. There are things in my inventory that will never, ever make it to this blog. There are things that are shocking, and things that still bring me shame. There are things that I have only told my bishop, and will never tell a soul again after I complete step 5. She will know my every last secret. She and I aren't super close, but I trust her more than any woman I can think of. She hasn't actually done step 5, or worked the program, and I think that will be helpful to me, actually. Because I won't worry so much that I've done it wrong. With someone who has completed the program, I know I'll wonder if I did it the right way and if they'll judge me because of my format and method. Now, I know that is a ridiculous and needless fear, but I'm honestly quite relieved that I won't have to worry about that with this friend. Anyway. She's perfect for the job. I'm nervous, but I'm eager to get it done. I know that she might be surprised about some of the things I'll confess, but I also know that she will continue to love and respect me, regardless.

I feel like I'm really progressing here. I feel like I'm going to make it. Jesus has carried me thus far, and I know He'll not abandon me now!