MY Temple Recommend

Today I went to see my bishop, as I do biweekly. Today, though, was different. It was my temple recommend interview.

I fasted. I prayed to know that I was worthy. I asked Heavenly Father to please bring to my remembrance any sin that I have failed to confess. I do not want to enter those doors with a trace of unworthiness.

I eagerly sat in the chair facing my bishop in his office. He asked if there'd been any issues in the past two weeks. I told him about the time my Addict nearly won, and he agreed it was nothing in itself that would jeopardize my worthiness. And then he said, teasing, "Now, I think you might be here for something special today?"

"I haven't forgotten!" I responded.

"I bet you haven't," he smiled. And he began.

You know what I love about the questions? They're all present-tense. "Do you. . . ?" Not "Have you always. . . ?" not "How long has it been since you. . . ?" It's "Do you?" Now. Do you now. Yes. I could honestly and confidently answer each yes-needing "do you" question with a yes. I felt good about it. I feel right about it.

"Do you feel worthy. . . ?"

"Yes."

I do. I feel like I keep my covenants. I feel like I am obedient. I feel like I have finally grasped firmly to the iron rod, and as long as I don't let go, Satan cannot conquer me!

My bishop smiled as he signed my recommend. I smiled and maybe cried a little as I signed my temple recommend. He told me "congratulations!" and I released more tears. He tore out my recommend and we both stood. He shook my hand, handed me the most beautiful little piece of paper I have ever seen, and we walked to the door. I walked out feeling like a new woman. I kept staring down at my recommend. When I left the church building the dam broke, and my face drowned in tears. I slowly brought my recommend to my heart, feeling its sacredness. It feels so sacred. I got into my car and stared more, sobbing now openly, thanking my God for bringing me here. He confirmed to my heart that this was right. That I had done my part to earn this, but that I could never earn it, and that His Son had taken me the rest of the way. It feels so wonderful!

I put the recommend on the passenger seat, and just kept touching it. It feels powerful. It feels real. It feels incredible.

Nine more days till the next stake presidency signing. It seems so far! I can't wait! But I will. And Satan will try to bring me down, but I've got Jesus, and I'll be fine.

This is the best day of my life.