The Right Way to Recover

This has been on my mind a lot lately. I tend to get caught up in rules and formats. I tend to feel if I don't do something "right," then I'm a failure. I have been afraid to do some of the steps in the recovery program because of fear that I'll do them the wrong way. Step 4 is a great example. Write a moral inventory. The manual gives some hints, but it is so very, very confusing to me! How am I supposed to do this?? What do I write? What format do I use? There is no way I can remember every incident of indulgence! What if I mess up?

Finally I decided to just do it my way. Just do it the way that makes sense to me. It's more important to do it than to stall for failure to fully understand the task. And ya know what? It's worked out for me. I keep God informed and included, and we do just fine.

Step 5, Confession, was also difficult for me. I haven't done it yet. I'm doing it Monday night. The manual suggests you choose a person to complete Step 5 with who has already done Step 5 themselves. That is not always the best thing, however. I also recommend doing it with someone who is familiar with the steps, who is familiar with addiction and recovery. If you have a sponsor, it may be best to complete Step 5 with your sponsor. But, it may not be! Anyway, I was worried about Step 5. I didn't know anyone personally in the program whom I would trust, or who was also far enough along in recovery to avoid getting triggered by my reading. So I prayed about it, and the name of a wonderful woman in my ward came to mind. She is probably the most understanding and accepting person I know. I talked to her about my addiction and I asked her if she'd do Step 5 with me and she agreed. And she is going to be perfect for this, for me, even though she hasn't been to an ARP meeting before.

I know it's not conventional, but for me, it's right. I finally got rid of the fears that I might be doing it wrong.

I have been afraid even to answer the questions in the manual incorrectly! Or to pray incorrectly or confess to my bishop incorrectly, or when I had a sponsor, to whine to her incorrectly, haha. I wish I hadn't been so afraid of doing the wrong thing. JUST DO IT! Do it the way that makes sense.

I know some people who recovered without the aid of a 12-step program. As for me, I need this program. But not everyone does. It is an inspired program, absolutely. But, even so, we are all so different, that something that works for someone won't work for someone else. However, I do believe that each step is adaptable enough to include all different types of people.

My point is that there isn't one formula that will heal every single person. My point is, sometimes rules need to be bent a little. Sometimes prescriptions need to be thrown out the window. Sometimes you just gotta do what makes sense to you.

That said, there is one right way to recover. There is a right way to do the steps. There is one right way to overcome addiction. And that is, surrender to God. Lean on Him and trust Him. That is the one and the only way any of us can become whole.