Doubt and Deliverance

Mosiah 29:20 "But behold, he did deliver them because they did humble themselves before him; and because they cried mightily unto him he did deliver them out of bondage; and thus doth the Lord work with his power in all cases among the children of men, extending the arm of mercy towards them that put their trust in him."
Italics added.

All cases. I remember I used to dismiss those all-encompassing phrases in my head. I would assume that scriptures like this meant "all cases but mine." And, really, how selfish is that? I remember being in Young Women's and the Young Women president, or whoever, would say "I love each of you!" and I was always sure they meant everyone but me. "You each have special talents!" and I knew they'd mean "except Erin." It's such a prideful way of thinking. I'm the exception? Why am I so special? Um, no. I am not the exception. I wish I could have been convinced of that years ago. I even dared suppose that the Atonement covered everyone except me. How selfish I was!

That's a little embarrassing to admit, because I'm admitting that I didn't believe Jesus, I didn't believe the prophets, I didn't believe my church leaders, I didn't believe God. Of course, the idea that I was doubting God never occurred to me. I still discover, from time to time, that I still doubt Him. I'm grateful that my Father helps me to see when I'm doubting him so I can consciously choose to believe.

I no longer believe that I am the exception to the Atonement. I believe that I am covered by the Atonement, and that the Atonement is so very, deeply personal and individual, and that my brother Jesus Christ would not have chosen to avoid atoning for me. I believe He loves me as He loves anyone and everyone else. I believe He has plucked me out of darkness several times, in attempt after attempt to get me to face Him again. I believe that I am precious to Him, and that I matter to Him. I am so grateful for those sweet moments when He has shown me His love, "even unto the consuming of my flesh."

He has saved me. He will save me. He is saving me. As I trust in Him, His arm of mercy is extended towards me, and as I cry mightily to Him and humble myself, He will deliver me out of this bondage that I imposed upon myself (well, with the help of Satan et al.), and He will work with His power in my case.

I love this truth. It is delicious to me.