Gratitude- You're Doing it Wrong

I have always thought of myself as a grateful person. But lately I really wonder. Am I grateful or spoiled?

I have been struggling with my faith. I have been expecting some great miraculous blessing as a direct result of my specific obedience to a specific commandment. My expectations weren't totally baseless, so I'm trying to go easy on myself. But, I think what I've actually been doing is trying to get God to bless me how *I* see fit. Bless me my way, Father. My way.

The blessings I thought I needed most and wanted most and expected most didn't come, so I dared to presume that the promises of God had not been fulfilled.

Such pride.

I am trying now to open myself up to receive the blessings that the Father wishes to give me. He knows what He's doing.

This is a short post but I hope I made sense. I am very tired. Good night!