Obviously, I'm not an authority on the subject of recovery, since I haven't yet made it very far. Nonetheless, here are some tips that have worked for me in the past. Maybe there are a few that might benefit some of you.
-Keep a picture of the Savior by my computer
-Get an excellent filter. I recommend either K-9 (free) or Net Nanny (not free). I use Net Nanny because K9 didn't work with Google Chrome. I wasn't able to even log onto gmail, and it was quite maddening. I like Net Nanny better because it seems to have more options, and it blocks thumbnails, unlike K9. I may have been using K9 incorrectly, though.
-If you are keeping the password rather than giving someone else control, make the password something that will be difficult to type just to get to porn. I have used the names of my children, and that was very effective. I couldn't type their names in order to access pornographic material. I just couldn't. I have also used sentences like "Jesusiswatching" and that was very effective. I recommend changing the password every few months just to keep it new, because it's easier to rationalize away something that has been there awhile.
-I typed the Sacrament Prayers and posted them by my bedroom door. I repeated the prayers four times daily before I left my room. Through the day, the Sacrament was on my mind. After a few months, I changed the scripture, again to keep things new.
-Forgive others
-Attend ARP and/or PASG meetings! When I attend with an honest intent to learn, and with consciously opening my heart, then I get that much more out of them.
-I forgive myself
-Change the radio station. I haven't listened to a normal radio station for years. I don't even know what's cool anymore. I listen to Christian stations and, my favorite, the local classical music station. Anything else just is so filled with suggestions. It was becoming too much for me, so I let it go. I often listen to Pandora, but even that has songs with lyrics I don't need to fill my head with, but at least I can skip them right away.
-I got rid of my Netflix account. I don't think I'll ever be safe with Netflix again.
-I made a ridiculous password for Rated R and above movies on my DirecTV account. This has saved me a few times. I also programmed it to block the titles of programs that have suggestive titles. Sometimes, I have tried to watch an inappropriate movie, and I'll try to remember the 4-number password, and I can't. I know this has saved me from pornographic scenes, sadly!
-I stopped talking about sex with my peers and friends, no matter how innocent it appeared.
-I recently posted pictures that my kids drew all over my bedroom. I love it! My bedroom feels so happy now. I think it's changed the mood of my bedroom.
-Pray, pray, pray, pray, pray.
All right, Erin! Nice list! How are you feeling about things? Do you feel supported? I'm still praying for you! Maybe you could help us think of constructive ways to deal with those pesky underlying negative emotions? I really struggle with those! Keep it up! You help keep me motivated!
ReplyDeletethanks for reading. :)
DeleteGreat list. I think those are all awesome!!
ReplyDeleteMy only suggestion is to bag the holding your own password... you say you'd never enter the names of your children... and that lasts, until you do.
But if someone else has the password it's just not an option. For me, my Bishop has my password:-) Sure the heck ain't ever gonna ask him for it!!
I do okay with the passwords. If I gave the password to someone else, I'd be calling them all the time. I have to use it just to get to all these blogs, mine included! I use it several times a day, without abusing it. I haven't used it to access inappropriate sites. I'll be changing it up soon because it has been a few months.
DeleteAnd, I'm current. After two and a half days of reading your blog during any spare moment throughout the day, (and many not-free moments) I caught up. Your journey has been long and hard, and your writing made me feel like I was in the thick of it. And it sucked. Satan sucks. Addiction sucks. The natural man sucks. Depression sucks. But YOU don't suck. You persevere. You stand up. I hope and pray that it gets easier for you. I'm sorry that you've had to wrestle with this for so long, but I believe that you can come out of it, even if the temptations are always there to some degree, to the point that these dark years will be your past, but not your present, and not your future.
ReplyDeleteYou aren't sex addiction. You are mother, you are daughter, you are sister, friend, writer, and future queen of the eternities.
This is your year. Make this your year.
you rock. Thank you. This made me cry.
DeleteRock on! This is your year! In so many wonderful ways this will be your year! With God, Family, and friends you cannot fail! We are all pulling with you. They that are for you are more than they that are against. Remember that story about the legion of angels that the opposition could not see? I wish I could draw so I could draw that scene with you standing with the legion of angels round about you. And that is truly how it is. Think of all those who are pulling for you! You WILL win this battle. This is your year!
ReplyDeleteoh, my brother, you are wonderful. Thank you!! <3
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